I was deeply moved by the assisted suicide of Craig Ewert. Yes, last week I watched the Sky Real Lives programme, controversial not so much for its subject matter as for its screening of the moment of Craig's death. I was expecting to be very disturbed by that moment, but it was in fact surprisingly peaceful. Craig was wonderfully articulate and very clear about why he was choosing to go to Switzerland and be helped to die by Dignitas. His Motor Neurone Disease meant that he had increasing difficulty in breathing. He knew his suffering would grow. "I'm going to die. Do I choose death now, or suffering with death later?"
It's a good question. I contemplated suicide when I was in hospital immediately after my accident. I was convinced my life was over. I was on oxygen, got my food through a drip and could hardly move my right arm. I spent most of my time during those first few months in bed reflecting on all the things I had done and that I wouldn't be able to do again. It made no difference when I met active and positive wheelchair users. It was only when I shifted perspective to focus on what I could do that I moved beyond thoughts of death. And I had to realise this by myself. It took a long time. I'm saddened to read about Daniel James travelling to Dignitas to die a mere eighteen months after the rugby accident that left him paralysed. Of course, I cannot imagine what he was going through. Of course, everyone has to make their own choices. I just know from my own experience, as someone who used to do loads of sport, that time really is a great healer. That having a spinal cord injury has actually brought many good things to my life. That I can do a huge amount, apart from climb stairs. That I'll be forever grateful that I chose life.
